Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
