I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just had sex bonerless
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
