i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
