we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
