i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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