Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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