Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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