I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
