Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
