Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we're making bets on your personal life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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