sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
