i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
