your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
