My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
