I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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