I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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