Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
