I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
