i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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