I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
