haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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