I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
