ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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