remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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