I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
