One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
