I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
