I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
