were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think people are normalizing furries
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
