I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
