I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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