I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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