What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
