Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
