the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
