Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
