Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
