You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Quick, to the slutcave!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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