last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
