I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
