The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
