I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this will be a night to untag.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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