is your mom at the bar?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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