Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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