Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
