Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
