quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
