on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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