I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
