Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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